This week was one where I learned two important lessons: Time is the key to everything, and patience is a virtue for a reason.

I’ve been looking back on the art that I’ve been making for my entire life. Going back to when I first was on DeviantArt (about 2013), I was just making art for the fun of it. Letting my imagination run wild, making character designs that weren’t the most well-thought out, but still having fun.

But as I grew older, chased trends, being impressionable, not having your own thoughts, letting a single post trigger intense panic attacks. I couldn’t think about what I was doing because the atmosphere on these websites consists of flying shrapnel and smoke.

It’s also why I feel like my art got worse over time. I wasn’t giving myself the distance and the time I needed to process my emotions. I just kept thinking if I made characters, then everything would fall into place. But reality had other plans for what my hands wrought.

Looking back at my old art, I saw a lot of stiff body poses, same-y faces, cheap ideas, and safe artwork that didn’t challenge me. And looking back on the art I’ve made recently? I still see these issues. I’m angry. Angry at myself for letting this happen. It could’ve been so much better if I had just let myself have some time to breathe.

So why am I telling you all about this? It’s to hold myself up to a better standard and make it public to you all. So that if I ever slip again, you guys will notice and call me out for it. And maybe this’ll inspire you guys to stop fretting and start cooking.

Smug out.